Lack of experience, or simply don't care?

kata wikipedia,
"A love song is a song about being in love, falling in love, heartbreak upon the ending of a loving relationship, and the feelings that these experiences bring."

jadi gitu.
ada suatu jenis lagu yang isinya tentang cinta. bisa jadi bertepuk sebelah tangan, bertepuk tangan bersama-sama, atau malah tetangga yang tepuk tangan.
bisa jadi menjatuhkan, dijatuhin, atau jatuh bareng-bareng.
semuanya ada di lagu cinta. love song.

dulu rasa-rasanya saya pernah kok nyanyiin lagu cinta.
terus habis itu gak lagi. karena lagu cinta itu ya gitu itu defaultnya. kalo gak love you so much, ya i'll survive banget.
lagu cinta dinyanyiin anak SD. lagu cinta dinyanyiin anak SMP.
bukan berarti saya terus nge-judge anak SD atau SMP ga bisa ngerasain cinta, tapi mungkin emang belum saatnya. tapi temen SMA saya ada yang jadi sih, sejak kelas 1 SMA sampai sekarang nikah.
jadi mungkin SMA uda boleh lah nyanyi lagu cinta.

dulu saya masih nyanyi lagu cinta yang isinya love you so much tapi habis itu jadi i'll survive banget.
lagu cinta itu gak salah sebenarnya. mungkin saya aja yang sentimen.
sama seperti saya sentimen sama film drama korea. karena too good to be true. di kehidupan nyata belum pernah saya nerima perlakuan macem si drama korea.
atau mungkin ngeliat Chopper nangis aja saya ikutan nangis. yang ada kisah cinta drama korea baru mulai aja saya udah nangis. mungkin.
tapi juga bukan salah drama koreanya. love story-nya aja yang terlalu ngawang. dan belibet.
terlalu banyak unnecessary rintangan dan cobaan yang dibuat sendiri sama si lakon. love story nyata mah... ya..
saling jaga aja. harusnya cukup.

back to love song.
setelah sempat biasa saja dengan love song, malah jadinya keseringan dengerin lagu-lagu macem Mas Ike dan Mas Taka, yang meskipun ada love songnya tetep aja didengerin karena suara. bukan karena 'relate' ke love songnya.
sebut saja waktu nyanyi 'wherever you are'- nya mas Taka cs. gak pernah meratiin lirik.
baru setelah seorang kawan nanya artinya 'kokoro kara aiseru hito' yang ternyata berarti 'orang yang saya cintai dari hati' baru nyadar. sepertinya lagunya romantis. tapi that's it.
gak didalemin lagi.

untuk kisah baru ini, entah kenapa pengen nyanyi. Blue - Best in Me. entah kenapa, cukup menggambarkan, dan sedikit ngarep bisa happy ending (asumsi best in me-nya happy ending, ahaha). dan emang lagu itu sudah jadi favorit bahkan sebelum paham maknanya.
saya rasa itu cukup menggambarkan. ternyata gak juga.
gak cukup.
ni ada rasa baru. rasa nanonano yang perlu dicariin soundtracknya.
terus.
karena buka path. terus mau sok-sokan pasang lagu. terus bingung. damn. i don't know any love songs. dan akhirnya buka toshi buat cerita. i don't know any love song.

wherever you are-nya mas Taka really nice sebenarnya. tapi mikir lagi. bolehkah?
takutnya ternyata gak segitunya. haha. takutnya malah yang sono lari. haha. gak tepuk sebelah tangan lagi, nepuk nyamuk dah. saingan sama Saitama sensei. eh tapi dia pake semprotan buat bunuh nyamuknya. et. salah jalur.
terus apa lagi?
lagu apa lagi?
terus saya malah menggali-gali ingatan. love songs apa yang saya tau?
sambil nanya mas gugle tentunya.
beberapa menit berlalu dan masih belum nemu juga.

wait. let me try a lil bit harder.
ahhaah.
nemu.
maaf kalau ternyata love songnya bahkan bukan lagu barat. berbahasa inggris. bahkan berbahasa indonesia yang sekiranya mudah dipahami.
tapi. i have no reference when it comes to love songs.

so, this one.
catch!
entah bagaimana anda akan menginterpretasikannya, semoga aja mirip-mirip dengan interpretasi saya. aamiin.
oh iya, semoga lagunya ga terlalu berlebihan. dan semoga ga jadi miskom. hahaha.
well, who knows what would happen in the future ya. tapi..
enjoy the song dulu aja lah. di sini. full version-nya beli di itunes. saya punya sih. ahaha

jadi kalau experience sebenarnya saya gak kurang. mungkin simply don't care. terhadap lagu-lagu cinta itu.
tapi mungkin sekarang i do care.

nite2, you. emot.


ps: di path ga ada lagu ini. jadi. tetap saja saya gak bisa ngupdet status. -__-"

Nananananana

Nyahahha.
So what happen today?
Nyahahaha. a lot.

so today there's quite a load of work, but hey, i'm getting paid to do it, so i just have to do it.
just take a lil fun, enjoy every bit of it, because i really am grateful for what i have now.
and of course i have Suba in my arms. :)
and then there's also some things that bothering me, tiring, but i just have no energy left to explain.
so rather then give myself up to anger, which consume more energy, why can't i save what little left of it for the hours left of today?
it doesn't mean i don't care, well i do care. a lot. i just felt tired. and i thought it would be worse if i give in to anger. so, take a deep breath, and waratte. :D
after all everything better be solved in a clear mind. darou?

so i got free lunch, free dinner, a couple of free snack for the whole work hour, and i got free ride half way home.
and when i walk for the other half way, i got people that i can follow to cross the road, the traffic is low- well considering it's already past 9pm, so i guess it's normal, but well.. it's something to be grateful for. at least i don't have to wait for the traffic to stop, well, hey! i'm breathing! that. that itself is what i really have to be grateful for.
as long as we're breathing, there's a lot of good things we can do, there's a lot of good things that can happen to us, and of course there's plenty of chance to..introspect, to change our self - in a good way of course.
don't let small things ruin your day, don't let negative feelings clouding your judgement, thus prevent you to see all those good things around you. seriously, maan.. life is beautiful. :D

have you heard or seen the quote, "life is better when you didn't care?"
well.... i hate that quote. kirai. DAIkirai.
so,.. what? you have to be ignorant to be happy? seriously?

no. you have to care. you have important things around you. taisetsuna mono. taisetsuna hito.
things that you have to care for.
and caring for those things means happiness itself.
but note that what i'm referring to is "important things". when you care SO MUCH for trivial things like heights, pimples... it's gonna eat youu aliivveee *read it limpbizkit style, lol
people can say everything about you. your heights. your pimples.
if you care a lot, it's gonna break your self esteem. but, let's see on the other side. maybe it's a chance for improvement? well, i can't do anything about heights now, so i just love the mini me, and make a simple joke out of it.
and about pimples, yeah, that's one thing that i have to do something about. if i chose to just don't care, well, how great it would be? i might be the happiest person on earth. but then, it's just the same as weights. no good comes from obesity - medically speaking. so. what good comes from having pimples? aha! buying my sister's product! haha. i guess i can make my other family members happy.
Bismillah, hope it works.
so, am i still happy by caring? yep i guess i am. :) well i try to. no. i'm happy. rr... >_<

come to think of it, i once wrote about mood. mood is a state of mind. and who control the mind? well, us, of course. ourselves.
so i guess.. i am happy. :)

care means giving ourselves a chance to get hurt. but just by then we'll appreciate it more. we'll learn how precious it is.
but just keep it to the VIP level. you have to care ONLY to Very Important Person. Very Important Problem. don't care for Very Small Problem or Very Unimportant Person. Mottainai.

so, as i stroll freely down the path from work to my home sweet room,,
and maybe when you just need to sit down and take a deep breath, these songs might lighten you up.

Nakanaide soko ni wa hora, anata wo tsutsumu taisetsuna hito 

(Don't cry, look right over there, You're surrounded by people who are precious to you)

kono sora no shita.. onaji hoshi miagete, nayamu bokura wa
yume wo nigitta mama..  nakiwarai sasae ai shinjiteku

(Underneath that sky, looking up at the same stars, we worried,
While grabbing hold of that dream, we smiled as we cried and believed we'd support each other)

Hey, Hey Boy! Hey, Hey Girl! Mondainai, Life is beautiful..

Hey, Hey Boy! Hey, Hey Girl! Shinpainai, Life is wonderful..

Sou sa, EVERYBODY, waratte mimasen ka chotto

SAD nomihose, tsumannai kotoba wa iranai 

(And hey, Everybody why not laugh!

Drink up "sad", we don't need boring words)

Sou sa TAKE IT EASY kudaranai hanashi demo douzo

(And hey, Take it easy, even if you interest in silly story)

SAD nomihose tsumannai kotoba wasure

(Drink up "sad", forget about boring words)

Chyx Tape #6 - Chyrr Up!

1. Taisetsu na Mono - Road of Major
2. Come in Summer - Spyair
3. EZ going - Spyair

Let's be happy by caring!!!
Be grateful!!
Alhamdulillah!!!!

Oyasumi! :D

Rebound.

Rebound.
kata bang google, bounce back through the air after hitting a hard surface or object.

jadi begitu kena ke permukaan atau objek yang keras, dia bounce back. macem dribble bola basket lah ya. jangan dribble bola bowling. jadi masalahnya adalah bola apa yang akan di-dribble. *eh.

rebound di urban dictionary, banyak diartikan sebagai bounce back setelah mengalami kegagalan dalam hubungan cinta. tapi bounce backnya gak serius. sekedar mencari pelarian, istilah kerennya.

hm.
menurut saya sih lebih pas Rebound versi bang google. karena, rebound versi urban dictionary kurang cool aja sih. dan terlalu childish. well, kita punya istilah 'pelarian' untuk itu. jadi rebound ini harus rada kerenan dikit.

Rebound.
mental. kelempar lagi. macem dribble bola basket.
yang jika diaplikasikan di dunia percintaan, maka bisa dialihbahasakan menjadi move on.
titik rebound seseorang itu bisa beda-beda. sederhananya, kalau belum hitting a hard surface or object, ga bakal rebound. ga bakal move on.
definisi hard surface itu pun nge-blur jadinya. bisa jadi hard surface si A adalah approval orangtua , bisa jadi si B adalah udah usaha tapi tetep ditolak, atau bisa jadi si C, yang begitu senyumnya gak dibales terus langsung rebound. padahal kenal juga nggak. *nahlho

jadi intinya sih, menurut saya tiap orang punya batas toleransi masing-masing untuk melakukan rebound.
khusus untuk saya, saya lebih suka realistis. kalau udah usaha tapi tetep gak berhasil, ya Bismillah saja, kalau memang gak jodoh ya cari yang lain. selama masih berusaha, insya Allah bakal ketemu. in the end. kapannya masalah nanti saja. kalau kata ayah saya, "jodoh itu bukan target (waktu)". hm.

timbul pertanyaan selanjutnya, tau darimana effortnya uda cukup atau belum? tau darimana kalau kita tidak melewatkan jodoh kita?
well ya.. balik lagi. hard surfacenya macem gimana. kalau lebih banyak mudharatnya, buat apa?
kalau banyakan bikin makan atinya, mending makan babat. toh sama-sama jeroan. *eh
jodoh ga akan ketuker, dan yang baik akan ketemu yang baik, dan yang gak baik ya ketemunya yang ga baik. dijalani aja sambil tawakkal.

kalau ternyata suatu hubungan harus berakhir, maka salah satu diantaranya sudah lebih baik daripada satunya. yang berarti ada yang lebih buruk. uda ga match. makanya dipisah.
jadi kalau mau dapet yang bener, kitanya harus bener dulu. udah janji Yang Di Atas.
tapi juga kita diingetin, harus berusaha dulu baru nasibnya diubah. jadi jangan lupa berusaha. kalau jalan beli chopper terus tetiba kesandung batu, jatuh, lututnya memar, terus tetiba g jadi beli chopper gitu? itu mah ga niat.
usaha dulu. memar dikit gpp. kali choppernya worth it. tapi begitu sampai disana, choppernya abis. ya berarti ga jodoh. apakah perjalanan ke tokonya sia-sia? nggak. jadinya tau disana choppernya abis. gak bertanya-tanya lagi, dan jalannya nanti hati-hati.
terus, mau nungguin sampe Choppernya ada lagi? ya mending cari di toko lain. apakah bakal ketemu? ya ntahlah. kan yang penting nyari dulu. :D

saya sebenernya rada keder2 gimana gitu nulis ini.
toh saya juga masih belum tau jodoh saya yang mana. jodoh saya nantinya menurut saya adalah yang ngucapin kabul pake nama saya dan dinyatakan sah menurut saksi.
tapi kenapa jadi bahas jodoh ya?

haha. balik ke main topic,
rebound.
rebound.. menurut saya.. yang penting.. ikhlas. dan cara yang paling ampuh menurut saya adalah realistis.
well, it works for me sih. entah untuk yang lain.
every head has its own headache. obatnya juga beda2. takarannya, jenisnya. beda.
tapi.. sebenarnya tidak ada yang perlu dikhawatirkan begitu suatu kisah berakhir.
memang sih, akan ada kekhawatiran gimana klo habis ini g dapet2? tapi ya.. pasti ada jalannya. :)
meskipun agak panjang, tapi yaa.. memang udah gitu jalannya.

kalau kata Shimura Shinpachi,

"Love, whether anything comes of it or not, is apparently something that makes people grow."

percayalah. ada alasan untuk itu. salah satunya, menjadikan kita manusia yang lebih baik. salah dua dan tiganya silakan dicari di sudut kehidupan masing-masing.

jadi. jangan takut! mari Rebound!

Kisah Sedih di Hari Selasa

Mbak Antie: (tiba2 nyamperin masih sambil ngunyah) "Ci kamu anak akuntansi?"
Ci: "Iya mbak." (kirain bakal nanya postingan urgent sampe ninggalin makanan)
Mbak Antie: "Jadi debet dan kredit itu berpasangan?"
Ci: "Iya mbak." (ganti posisi duduk, siap2 pasang otak).
Mbak Antie: "Kalo debet dan kredit berpasangan, Kamu kok nggak?"
C: (meluk suba. Nangis dalam hati)

sesuatu.

Rezeki dan Doorprize

jadi.
apakah hubungan antara rezeki dan doorprize?

artikel ini saya tulis dalam rangka saya gak dapat doorprize setelah mandi jam setengah 5 pagi dan wara wiri dengan riang gembira di acara sportday di hari sabtu yang alhamdulillah cerah ini sampai jam 3 siang.
dari 11 tim yang kurang lebih isinya 25-30 orang, dengan pembagian 170 voucher, sekitar 15 hadiah barang, dan 1 buah Grandprize, kupon saya gak disebut-sebut.

alhamdulillahnya sih, meskipun di cabang olahraganya gak menang, tapi dapet Supporter terbaik. ya, kami datang bukan untuk menang, tapi untuk heboh!! tapi ya usaha juga sih biar menang. hahah.

oh iya, balik lagi.
jadi ceritanya, saya gak dapet doorprize.
dan gak cuma sekali ini aja gak dapetnya. kaya'nya tiap acara macem gini belum pernah beruntung. sekali waktu dapet hadiah gara-gara nanya, ceritanya di sini.

sepertinya di tulisan sebelumnya pun sudah sedikit saya siratkan, rezeki itu datangnya pas.
gak kecepetan, gak kelamaan. tapi pas.
waktu itu dapet Power Bank, pas lagi butuh.

nah, ceritanya hari ini lumayan banyak tuh kan ya, doorprize-nya.
yang bentuk hadiah diantaranya ada jam tangan GSh*ck. honestly saya memang suka model2 jam tangan gede gitu, mirip seperti yang saya pakai sekarang. tiap kali lewat counter jam tangan dan ngitung jumlah titik di pricetag-nya, tak jarang saya mengucap Hamdalah karena sampai sekarang saya belum butuh jam tangan baru.
waktu disebutin jenis hadiahnya, saya ngelirik jam tangan yang uda setia menemani sejak SMA kelas 3. ganti batere dan tali uda entah berapa kali, uda kecemplung pas main banana boat, uda dipake selama kewiraan, uda nemenin kuliah sampai kerja, d*mn, bahkan relationshipku tidak seawet jam ini. *eh
kirain dengan adanya doorprize itu, mungkin uda saatnya saya ganti jam. and guess what?! *eh diatas uda ada spoiler ya? hahah
iya, saya gak dapet hadiahnya. berarti jodoh saya sama si jam ini belum putus. :D
stick with me ya, my cute wristwatch. :*
berarti belum rezeki, belum saatnya.

doorprize selanjutnya macem TV, Home Theater, Sepeda, dan grand prize satu unit motor, teteup aja nomor saya gak kepanggil-panggil.

tapi. tutup mata anda dan bayangkan. eh, kalo uda tutup mata gak bisa baca ya?
yaudah, buka mata anda dan bayangkan.
kamar kos saya yang alhamdulillah berukuran kurang lebih 3x2m ini udah penuh sesak sama buku-buku stephen king, koleksi DVD anime, koleksi boneka, baju, dan lain sebagainya.
gimana mau masukin TV sama Home Theater? kirim ke rumah di Makassar? mending beli di sana ya.. ahaha
atau sepeda dan motor. kosan saya gak ada parkiran. saya pun takut bawa motor di Jakarta. mending jalan kaki. bisa kurus. kali.
tapi teteup lah ya, berharap. siapa sih yang gak mau gratisan? apalagi bisa dijual lagi. *nahlho
dan, ternyata emang gak kesebut. mungkin Allah menyelamatkan saya dari kerepotan yang gak penting buat ngejual lagi, disaat seminggu ke depan saya ditinggal sendirian buat nge-handle kerjaan. *curcol

Pulangnya, saya melangkahkan kaki dengan lelah.
ya wajar lah ya, dari pagi. meskipun tandingnya cuma sekali doang terus kalah. hehe
pas ngambil tas di ruangan, eh ada sisa sarapan tadi pagi. burgernya Mc-youknowlahya.
malah disuruh bawa lima. karena ternyata sisanya lumayan banyak. tapi karena saya (masih punya) malu, jadi ngambilnya cuma dua. sambil ketawa dan bilang 'Alhamdulillah rezeki anak kos.'

oke, jadi makan malam saya aman.

terus, uda mau pulang nih, diajakin ngetaksi sama temen. sempat mau menolak dan mau ngeTJ aja karena entah gimana ceritanya, bulan ini tight budget pake banget. sepertinya saya kebanyakan hurahurahore di awal bulan kemaren, sampai2 masih tanggal segini tapi saya udah narik tabungan aja. oh no! *namparmulutpakeburger.krauk.eh.

tapi, temen saya itu masang nada melas buat ngajakin naksi aja. nah, selagi bernegosiasi serius, tiba-tiba sebuah mobil melintas. kacanya diturunkan. terus ada yang nanya, 'berapa mbak?' eh. salah cerita. maaf.
kacanya diturunkan, ternyata asmenku yang baik hati rajin menabung tidak sombong dan gemar ngobrol gak penting sama kita, nawarin tumpangan. akhirnya saya dan teman saya itu dipungut dari pinggir jalan.
subhanallah.
alhamdu..lillah..

di mobil akhirnya saya kepikiran.
mungkin ini rezeki saya, saya lagi on a tight budget, terus dikasih bekal biar gak beli makan malam. terus dikasih naungan ber-ac dan tiba-tiba uda sampai di kos tanpa keluar biaya sepeser pun.
subhanallah. pas.
terus saya sempat kepikiran, haus banget inihh... kalau lewat s*rinah, mau beli ch*time ah.
ternyata, mobil yang saya tumpangi, tidak lewat sarin*h. eh, bintangnya salah posisi ya? -_-
ok, maksudnya tidak lewat s*rinah. kemudian saya terpikir lagi. mungkin emang saya gak diijinkan beli ch*time karena on a very tight budget? mungkin ini juga rezeki saya?
terus berpikir mundur semalam sebelumnya. disaat hujan menerpa kota tempat saya mengais rezeki ini, saya nyasar di toko favorit saya, uniql*. namun, inceran saya sedang tidak diskon. dan tidak jadilah saya membeli. mungkin itu juga rezeki saya?
iya kali ya. rezeki itu uda diatur.
tapi tetap saja, rezeki itu harus dicari. setidaknya saya masih berusaha ke uniql* atau mencoba peruntungan di acara sportday. tapi kalau memang rezekinya masih segitu, ya syukuri apa yang ada.
tapi kalau saya tidak berusaha, mana tau sebenernya rezeki saya lagi nungguin saya tapi sayanya gak dateng jemput. kan kasian ya, si rezeki sendirian.


“Wahai manusia bertakwalah kepada Allah dan pilihlah cara yang baik dalam mencari rezeki, karena tidaklah suatu jiwa akan mati hingga terpenuhi rezekinya, walau lambat rezeki tersebut sampai kepadanya, maka bertakwalah kepada Allah dan pilihlah cara yang baik dalam mencari rezeki, ambillah rezeki yang halal dan tinggalkanlah rezeki yang haram” (HR. Ibnu Majah, dan Syaikh Al-Albani menshahihkannya).

“Segala puji hanya bagi Allah, yang telah menciptakan alam atas dan bawah serta mengatur mereka dan memberi rezeki mereka, melapangkan rezeki bagi hamba yang Allah kehendaki dan menyempitkan rezeki hamba yang Allah kehendaki, hal itu merupakan kebijaksanaan dari-Nya dan sesuai dengan ilmu-Nya tentang apa yang bermanfa’at dan yang layak bagi hamba-hamba-Nya” (Tafsir As-Sa’di surat Al-‘Ankabuut ayat 62, hal. 746 ).

Al-Fajr:15-17
(15) “Adapun manusia apabila Tuhannya mengujinya lalu dia dimuliakan-Nya dan diberi-Nya kesenangan, maka dia akan berkata, ‘Tuhanku telah memuliakanku’”.
(16) “Adapun bila Tuhannya mengujinya lalu membatasi rezekinya maka dia berkata, ‘Tuhanku menghinakanku'”.
(17) “Sekali-kali tidak (demikian)” 

Mari berikhtiar! Mari nyamperin rezeki!!
:D

Just Like This!!

it all started back then, when we were young.
2006.

but i can't exactly remember how did it all begun. who said "hi" first? who shook whose hand?
where did we sit?

well it's just happened that your name was right above my name on the attendance list.
haha. lol.
how good life could be? giving you best friend for years just right above your name on the attendance list?

of course we did meet other best friends along the way. Alhamdulillah most of them still sticking around, not so close in de facto distance, but a-watsapp-reach. and that's relatively close. haha.

so.
remember when you first join your first concert? and i'm gladly come to see you?
we did take pictures, you know?

yay! photo taken 15.03.2009, 17:10

and now that i have to perform on stage for a scripted-presentation, you gladly come to see me!
and we did take pictures!

yaay! photo taken 03.11.2015

nyahahahha...
woot?woot? 6 years apart and we still can take pictures together. it's awesome, don't you think??! no. it's SUPERB!

sometimes i wonder what kind of different choices that i could take along the way.
i left home to live in Kos-Kosan when i was only 17 and a half.
the nearest family i have live in 5 hours drive.
what could go wrong?
well practically, everything could go wrong. not that what i became now is a saint or something like that, but at least.. it's not bad, you know.
and one way or another, i feel glad.

what helped me the most is the people around me. who support me, who keep reminding me.
since 2006, up to 2015, and seems like it's still a long way to go. haha

2006, Malang, the beginning..
i was helped by those unbelievably amazing people.

• Mbah Kos, who puts a strict rule (including have to be at home at 8pm on every 31st december), but taking a really good care of me all the time i was there, in good and in need.
• CG team. superb! you guys are such a bunch of nice kids!! even when some of us had a bad habit or two, we didn't pass it on to the other. instead, we pass on answer sheet and even studied together!! hahahaha. CG team strive for greatness!! you guys were there when i was at my lowest and keep me from falling! eventhough you wake me up on my birthday so early in the morning i haven't brush my teeth yet. lol.
• Indier. well, there are a lot of good and bad mixed in there. but i'm glad i graduated just fine. haha. i did take a lil bit bad in there though. but yeah. we were still young. i was young. but i'm better now. hahaha. but i can surely said Indier is like my 2nd family out there.
  remember when it was my first birthday in Malang and all of you just pick me up and trick me to pay for dinner?
  or remember when i had my first heartbreak and some of you pick the-still-have-red-and-sullen-eyes-me to get a cup of coffee to drink all the sorrows go?

so, surounded by these people i survived a 4,5 year being far away from home, from family.
and even some of the bad things i caught on those year somehow helped me, well it depends on perspective of course, such as gaming. anime. those two things makes me who i am now, and helped me form a simple conversation with another good strangers i met later on.

and then we move a lil bit forward, to 2011. in this big, crowded, blinding city. Jakarta.
i guess i'm lucky since i have my eldest sister lived in Jakarta when i moved. but since our work place is different, we decided to live in different place. and again i was helped. yes. because the good people i met in Malang also here! in Jakarta!!
and when my dad keeps reminding me to stay out of drugs, i almost laugh my heart out, since rather than spending money for drugs, i like spending money on Chopper more! hahhaha. and Chatime. i guess it has something to do with the C. like Chy in my name? mm. just pretend i didn't write that.

well.
just like Mas Ike said.

mieru ka na tsutawaru no ka na
kouyatte men muite kimi ni hanashiteokitai
itsuka hanareru kara eien nante nai kara
dakara ima shitte hoshikattanda
koko made kita juu nen hitori ja nakattatte koto
kowareta nodo ga mune harisaketa
yameyoutte nandomo tachidomatta
demo kimi wa ore wo matteitanda

Please Don’t Change It konna ore wo hitsuyou toshitekureteitatte koto ga
ureshikute arigatou ja tarinainda
miwatasu kagiri no nakama to kazoku no you na kizuna wo
wakachiaeru kono sekai de yuitsu no orera dake no basho

Please Don’t Change It deaeta koto waraiaete shinjitemitakunaretanda
sou omoeru jibun ni aeta
ore no yukusaki ni zutto ite hoshii soko de waratteite yo
kowaku wa nainda kimi ga iru nara dokomademo Just Like This

translation:

I wonder if you can see it.. I wonder if it gets across to you
I want us to sit like this, face to face, and talk
Someday we will eventuary part, since nothing lasts forever..
.. so, I wanted to let you know this now..
.. that the fact that I wasn’t alone for the past 10 years, coming this far..
.. singing my heart out with my broken voice..
.. regardless of times I said “let’s quit” trying to give up..
.. is all, because you’ve patiently been there for me

Please Don’t Change It.. letting someone like me, feel needed..
.. you’ve made me so content a simple thank you can’t possibly cut it
The one & only place in this world, for us and us alone..
.. where we can share bonds like a family with as many friends as the eye can see

Please Don’t Change It.. the fact that we were able to happen upon each other.. I finally could..
.. laugh with you about it.. and feel I want to put my trust in it.. seems I was able to meet my real self
Wherever I am headed, I want you to always be there.. just be there and smile at me
I’m not scared, long as you are with me.. I’d go anywhere.. Just Like This

so.
Thank you!!!:D
and of course. Alhamdulillah, Subhanallah!!


find the song here and the lyrics here!

An Insight about Summer Vacation by Hasegawa Taizou

Girls: Summer vacation really is a blast! I wish it would never end!

Hasegawa Taizou:

are you sure about that?
do you really want summer vacation to last forever?

if summer vacation were endless, what would you want to do? keep vacationing forever?
keep vacationing even as your classmates enter a new school term?
keep vacationing even as they all graduate, become independent, and start working?
keep vacationing even as your parents make sarcastic remarks about how your friend So-And-So got promoted or married?
"Really, I wanted to get a job too, and get married, and repay my parents for all they've done for me."
with such thoughts in your head,..

would you stay in your room, left alone with nobody to call family, and keep vacationing? of course you would.
you were the one who wished for an eternal summer vacation, so you'd have to keep on vacationing, with no vacations from your vacationing!

do you get it now?
Vacations can only exist after work obligations, the basis of the human lifestyle, are fulfilled! you can't call a year round vacation a vacation at all!
the same holds true for everything.
an endless vacation is the same as work.it turns into an obligation, a source of pain.

you can only enjoy a vacation because it'll end someday. you can only keep working because it'll end someday.
an endless summer vacation is no different from an eternal hell!

Thank your lucky stars!
be thankful that your life has both obligations and vacations, both ups and downs!
thankful that your summer vacation can still be called a summer vacation!



- Gintama 2015 Ep.17

Gibberish.

so.
based on personal experience reference, life is tough. not mentioning being a human, damn, that was rough, even.
that's why it is important to have faith.
and they didn't say "where there's a will, there's a way" for nothing.
because it's true. what matters is how big and how strong your will is.

and then, there's also things about doing the right thing.
yeah, like it was easy to do.
but actually at some point it is the easiest thing to do. because you wouldn't feel your guilty conscience eating you up late at night while you're trying to sleep.
so do the right thing.
even if it is the hardest thing to do.

because life's right and wrong wasn't as simple as turning on the lamp.
you can do wrong things right. or you can do right things wrong.
sometimes to do the right things you hurt others. or yourself.
sometimes you do the wrong things and everyone happy.
when you make a decision, it helps one, but hurts another.
there's no win win solution, it's a compromise solution, really.

sometimes you give up the things you want the most for the things you need the most. or maybe it's the other way around.
well, sometimes man can't even differentiate between the things they need and the things they want.
it's confusing. and tricky.

sometimes it's even better to jump head first just to see what you're made of. plus to see how many bones you'll break. and how many heartbroken you can survive.

even being a single independent human in this planet doesn't mean anything. you'll meet someone. you'll bump into someone. you'll see someone. and you'll need someone.
but not everyone gives you flowers. sometimes they give you the thorn and you happily accept it.
talk about stupidity.

so when the time comes for you to man up, losing the things you want, just to see how you'll survive, and how it'll end up, there's no point in being gloomy over it, right?
when you let the birds out of the cage, it's only natural they started to fly and going up up and away.
you wouldn't let them fly with a chain on their feet, right?
because sometimes things are better when you let them go.

ja. sore ga yokatta kamo shirenai, ne?
just started it with Bismillahirrohmanirrohim, and ganbarimasu! yosh!

Hm.Tangan saya gatal.

Ho'oh, tangan saya gatal.
untungnya bukan karena saya ingin belanja,  tapi karena saya ingin nulis.

sebenarnya mungkin lebih tepatnya saya ingin bercerita, tapi saya tidak tahu dan mungkin tidak menemukan kepada siapa saya harus bercerita.
cerita saya sebenarnya tidak ada manfaat ataupun nilai dan pesan moral sama sekali.
hanya sekedar bercerita. mungkin karena itu saya bingung kepada siapa saya harus bercerita.

at least di blog ini, readernya datang dengan sadar dengan tujuan ingin membaca. kalau kesannya saya menjebak, mohon dimaafkan. saya bahkan mulai berpendapat keterangan pageview di blog saya sebenarnya adalah saya sendiri.

well,
just now ayah saya  menelepon dan bercerita dengan riang gembira (ps: cerita ini sedikit dibumbui hanya untuk menambah cita rasa, bukan untuk merubah alur cerita). ternyata di sebelah kebun kesayangan ayah saya sedang ada yang membangun kos-kosan. saya pikir ayah saya girang karena berarti kebun ayah yang entah dipedalaman mana daerah Gowa itu akhirnya mulai berkembang, tapi ternyata girangnnya karena alasan yang lain.
ayah saya sempat ngobrol panjang dan lebar dengan pemilik kos-kosan yang sedang dibangun itu.
terlontarlah kata-kata pemilik kos-kosan yang menceritakan kalau anaknya dulu pernah diterima di Perta**** dan Pel**** pada waktu yang bersamaan. sementara di satu sisi saya pun pernah mengikuti tes di kedua tempat tersebut, dan tidak berhasil lolos di Pel****, namun saya sempat bercerita pada ayah saya kalau ada kenalan saya di tempat tes yang berhasil lolos di kedua tempat tersebut. namun karena pengumuan Pel**** lebih dulu keluar, maka yang diambil adalah Pel****.

akhirnya ayah saya dengan excitednya bertanya-tanya, apakah benar kenalan yang dulu saya ceritakan adalah putri dari pemilik kos-kosan yang baru dibangun itu?
jengjengjeng.
akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk mengirimkan pesan singkat kepada Kak U*a, person of interest dalam kasus ini. untungnya saya masih punya nomornya, meskipun perkenalan kami hanya sekilas dan sudah bertahun-tahun tanpa contact, kecuali sedikit melihat foto-fotonya di BukuWajah.

dan ternyata tadaa.. memang benar pemilik kos-kosan yang baru dibangun itu adalah ayah Kak U*a.
LOL. what a coincidence.
setelah putri-putrinya bertemu di sekitar tahun 2011, kini ayah-ayahnya bertemu di tahun 2015. dan ternyata kami tetanggaan, jika kebun ayah boleh dianggap second home.

sebenarnya ini bukan kali pertama ayah saya menemui kenalan saya secara tidak sengaja.
di tahun 2012, jika saya tidak salah ingat, saya sempat menghadiri rapat bersama unit-unit keuangan seluruh daerah, termasuk Makassar. meskipun saat itu saya masih hijau-hijaunya, jadi tidak banyak membantu.
namun saya sempat berkenalan dengan orang keuangan dari Unit Makassar. namanya Kak F*hr*l. itupun karena saya sempat salah mengira ybs adalah kakak dari teman SMA saya. ternyata bukan. malu sih, tapi ya sudahlah.
setelah perkenalan di rapat itu, masih sempat contact melalui email terkait pekerjaan. kemudian lost contact karena that particular kerjaan telah selesai.

tetiba setelah sekian lama, yang bahkan saya pun mulai lupa dengan kenalan saya itu, ayah saya menelepon dan bercerita bahwa ayah baru saja kembali dari tempat kawan lamanya di Pangkep.
dan surprise, surprise, anak dari kawan lama ayah saya itu adalah Kak F*hr*l. berhubung kami sudah pernah berkenalan, jadi si Kakak nyambung waktu ayah saya bercerita tentang saya. if only waktu itu saya tidak salah mengenali Kak F*hr*l sebagai kakak teman SMA saya, mungkin disaat ayah saya bercerita tentang saya, Kak F*hr*l hanya akan ketawa-ketawa sopan saja.

hm. all in all, ini hanya cerita yang sebenarnya tidak ada makna. hanya saja saya ingin bercerita.i guess coincidence happen. or is it fate? ahahha

Another Experience - Our Last Night Live Concert, Jakcloth - May 2015

"sorry for the shitty sound. it's not our fault." and so Trevor Wentworth said before started singing. lol

well, they did take a lot of time for sound-checking the instrument. what supposed to be a 19.40 to 21.10 live concert become a 20.00 something to 20.55 live concert.
at first i didn't realized what they mean by 'shitty sound' but then when they started singing, yeah. it was quite bad. i felt some disappointment towards the crew, i mean., hey. they flew from afar just to perform with that?? even Trevor's mic sometimes gone off during the performance.

first thing i learn from watching Creed Live Concert back then in November 2012 is that, when you are at the disadvantage of height, the choices left are go to the front, or go to the back. never go to the middle, because what you're gonna see is just someone else's neck. or head. or hair. or even back.
well, you might get lucky if you tiptoed here and there, but well. it takes it tool. (screaming: oh my feet!!! T___T)

My best friend and i struggle our way to the 4th line at the front. i have to tiptoed a little bit, but it was Okay. for the next two songs. and then we chose to back out. not because i'm tired of tiptoeing, but we were pushed like crazy!!
first, we were somehow stuck around the guys, well there's another two girls in front of us, but i don't know what happen to them after we left our spot.

so, for the first song it was okay, i had to tiptoe, but then the pushing began. and in the next song, i realize that there were some people fighting behind us, thus, pushing us roughly. we were stuck! i can't see anything. i can't even tiptoed! well, how am i supposed to tiptoed while being pushed? and temper, temper. i lost my temper. guess it fell somewhere when i was pushed.

so i asked my bestfriend to go to the back. and even to do that it was a struggle! some guy behind me said to me "mbak,mbak, mending ke belakang aja deh." well, like i didn't know about that! and while we struggle our way, another guy yelling "woy, ada cewek woy! malu!", and then another guy in front of us, acting like a hero also pushing people and yell "woy! ada cewek, woy!" i don't know his intention, he might think that he looks like a hero, but well actually not really. at least if he wanted to be a hero, he would've open up our way. haha. but i appreciate the yelling. thank you, mister i-don't-know-who.

and then we stood at the back. there was a lot of audience! i actually didn't expect Our Last Night to be this famous. haha. sorry.
but, yeah, a lil bit tiptoeing, a lil bit Live Audio Concert, but at least i can sing along, moving and breathing in peace.
and i can take a couple of pic, but it was too far away, so.. i take what i can get.

and on our way home, we stopped to take a couple of pic.

i don't know what to say for this concert, but for 22k, guess i can't expect much.
Our Last Night sing these songs (not in consecutive order, i forgot, haha)

• Same Old War
• Reason to Love
• Dark Storms
• Age of Ignorance
• Home (new song)
• Liberate Me
• Fate
• I've Never Felt This Way
• Dark Horse (cover song)
• Skyfall (cover song)
• Sunrise

they're awesome! but my love still goes to Mas Taka and Friends. they're unbeatable. haha.
oh by the way,, thank you to my best friend for accompanying me!! you are the best! :D

hope there'll be One Ok Rock concert for the 35xxxv album in Jakarta. please God, make it happen. pretty please? Aamiinn.

2nd Trip - First Step Out There

Hm.
well actually it's a totally late post, but let's make the best of it.
one of the reason why i write about this trip is that so i don't have to worry if the pics somehow got deleted. haha.

so, Alhamdulillah i was given the chance to take a step 'out there'.
i used to have a dream to go overseas. one thing that doesn't change is i'd like to go Hajj. but there was also my dream to visit England (mostly because of Westlife), then change into Austria (because i have an e-pal there), and nowadays it change to Japan (totally because my endless love to One Ok Rock and Tony Tony Chopper).

but at that moment it was a mere dream. i don't know when, i don't know how, and i can't even imagine myself to be there. it's just that i want to go there, but i don't have enough confidence in me that i actually will go there.

so, when this opportunity comes up, i grab it. fast. it comes with a price of course,, but i gain a lot.

it was in late November, 2014. my first step out there was.. Singapore.
that was also my first time buying foreign currency, and it was actually nothing, but my heart was thumping like crazy. i didn't spend a lot there, but i chose not to trade back the money i have left. well, just in case if i happen to go there again. haha

it was a long time ago, so i forgot all the details, and since the trip was taken care by other people in my group, so i was just going along with the flow.
i didn't do any research before hand, where to go, or what to buy. so practically, i was there just for sightseeing. and having fun. and taking picture. pictures. :D

we start from Batam, and we cross over the border using ferry. :D
In Singapore we stopped at some places; the Merlion Park, Singapore Botanic Garden, the front of Universal Studios, and Bugis Street.
so here are some of the photos.

waiting for our ferry in Sekupang Ferry Terminal

Mitaaa!! Mita yoo!!

Arrival Gate! that feeling when showing your passport for the first time,,,
i guess i pass the port! > o <

Near the Merlion Park. or is it already a part of Merlion Park? haha

mm.. i don't really know what i was doing. lol

@ Botanical Garden #1

@ Botanical Garden #2

@ Universal Studios #1

@ Universal Studios #2

Waiting for the ferry to go back

and my favorite pic of that day:

that's me. screaming "Yattaaaa!!!" as loud as i can. in my heart. (>o<)

so.
that's all.
and now, i'm trying to build my dream anew. now, with a self confidence in it. Bismillah.
Aaamiiiin..

on One Hot Monday in Late May 2015...

10.57

Uci : Lapar. Mw delivery jamur.
Ms Rhovi : Bisa emange? Sendirian?
Uci : Pake foodp*nd*. Tp jd mahal harganya. haha

11.27

Ms Rhovi : klo laper banget, jalan ke padang jaksa aja.
Uci : Mager
Ms Rhovi : Yaudah delivery aja.
Uci : Mahal. Min Order 50rb.

11.33

Uci : Masa jamur 2 nasi 1 jadi 80rb. mending A* tiga.
ms Rhovi : Mahaaaaal

12.21

Zeen : Nani shiteru chy?
uci : Lagi main poker sambil dengerin mas Takaa.. haha. km ngapain?
Zeen : Lg di GI inih sama hera, km mw nitip?
uci : Maaauuu Uwaaaah U r a life saveeeerr. Jamuuur n Ch*t*m* pliisss..
Zeen : haha,, tp agak lama gpp?
Uci : gpppppp

15.51

Zeen : Silahkan kl mw berkunjuung
Uci : Ima kuru yooo

sekitar jam 7 malem di kos Zeen

Uci : Mestinya aq nitip dua ya ch*t*m*nya.
Zeen : haha

19.43

Mb Dina : Oia, td aku bawain ch*t*m*. di kulkas yak.
Uci : Asiiiikkkkkk Horeeeeeeeee

And One Hot Monday in Late May 2015 end in happiness. Yeaay!

White Lie by Eli Locker_Lie to Me

I say I'm 10 when I'm 9 and a half,
My uncle tells a joke and I try to laugh,
In gym I fake a headache when I want to quit,
I say I love the sweater that my grandma knit.

But that's a white lie, white lie!
That's the kind you want to tell,
A white lie!
So your mom won't have to yell,
A white lie!
Everybody does it cause it feels all right,
And it's more polite,
But a lie still a lie,
Even when it's white!

I pretend I'm asleep when my dad walks in,
I said I ate my chicken but I just ate the skin,
Your face can say you're lying,
When your mouth says you're not,
Your pants are on fire but they're not to hot .

But that's a white lie, white lie!
That's the kind you want to tell,
A white lie!
So your dad won't have to yell,
A white lie!
Everybody does it cause it feels all right,
And it's more polite,
But a lie still a lie,
Even when it's white!

While it might be hard to say what's true,
Would you want a white lie told to you?

But that's a white lie, white lie!
That's the kind you want to tell,
A white lie!
So your mom won't have to yell,
A white lie!
Everybody does it cause it feels all right,
And it's more polite,
But a lie still a lie,
Even when it's white...

 the song's here.. :D

A Brief Review : Kiseijuu - Sei no Kakuritsu (Up to Ep #13)

Yay!!
Finally stumbled hard on this superb gem!! well it's been a while since i wrote, and it's also been a while since i found an Anime/Manga that's worth mentioning.

but then, here i am.
i honestly regret why i didn't followed this manga before, even when my best friend- who's not really into manga, recommended it to me.
at first because, the manga released through 1988 - 1995 (well, i don't even know whether i already born when the first series published, lol) so the drawing is quite.. 'furui'. old times.
it feels like watching Dono Kasino Indro - the old series. so, i stupidly put this beautiful gem aside.

and then, i saw this, exactly this scene in 9gag.

Kiseijuu #11

with a caption : and they say anime is for children, or something like that. haha

and it pique my interest. i mean, i've never seen the anime adaptation yet.
so i came home. downloaded all 12 Eps in 3 days (thehylia only let me download 5 per day, sigh.)

and then i watched it calmly. I mean. Calmly crying
i guess it's the first time i watched this kind of science fiction anime. i mean, mecha, magic, devil fruit and such, but nothing i guess, can be compared to Kiseijuu.
i mean, mecha did all that awesome transform-giant weapon-and aerial-even-outer-space fight, there's also magic in Magi, for example, and devil fruit in one piece, but none of that risking the main char's humanity this deep.

why i said, risking, well,, i don't want to give spoiler here, so. all i just want to say is, in my point of view, the main char, in Manga named Shinji and in Anime named Izumi Shinichi, struggled his best to keep his humanity, while having to cope with the existence of the most inhuman species as part of his body-the parasyte named Migi.
they eventually find a win-win solution for their co-existence, but really. Shinichi began to lose his humanity. the one thing that makes him different with the parasyte. as for the reason why, it's not like he's doing it on purpose. nope.

it's because there's a hole. a hole was left, at the same time he lost his mother, he gradually lost his humanity as well.

Kiseijuu #11
Shinichi : "a hole. there's a hole..."

he first realized it when he can't even shed a single tear.

Kiseijuu #08
Shinichi : I wonder if there's something wrong with my heart.
Migi : Like what?
Shinichi : I can't cry anymore.
Migi : Oh, that's all?
Shinichi : I feel like i've lost something. something that's an important part of being human.
Migi : That's senseless.

sometimes his 'human side' come forth, but not so long after, he'll regain his composure. but still,, it's quite painful to see. it literally send shivers down my spine.

Kiseijuu #10
Shinichi: what have I.. what have I been doing all this time?! I'm breaking. my heart's breaking... it's about to split in two.

yep. that's a pool of blood.

even after doing and realizing all of that, it's not like that he can simply back to who he was before.
and then, again, i can feel those needles in my heart everytime, someone, even his most important person in this case, his father, asked him, was he made of steel?
or maybe the one who asks, is the one he likes the most?

Kiseijuu #08

As for today, the anime still in it's 13 Eps from the 24 Eps that was going to be released. and i've finished the manga, so i already know where the story leads to.
but damn those piercing needles,,, here. in my heart. below is the last scene in Kiseijuu #12.

 

 

damn.
and in that last scene, why should they played the ending song as well???
i actually skipped the Opening and Ending Song because what i want is watching the movie, but hell. damn. i don't have an exit-plan when the ending song was played on that heart-breaking scene. or is it only my heart that's breaking? *sob

the song brought the same heart-breaking impression though. titled It's The Right Time, by Miura Daichi. in my point of view, it seems like Izumi Shinichi himself is singing that song while struggling his best. *sob

find the song here, and the lyrics as below, credited to random-googling:

Itsuka kimi ga oshiete kureta ano kotoba ga
Mune no oku no doa wo fui ni nokku suru
Furikaeru hima mo naku nanika ni oware
Wasureteita keshiki wo
Ima kimi no koe ga omoidasaseru yo
Daijoubu saa hajimeyou

And It’s the right time, Arukidasou
Yeah It’s the right time, Osorenaide
Hora, Ano oka wo koeta basho de
Boku wo matte iru yo

Tatoe donna tsurai toki mo sono kotoba ga
Hiroi umi wo mayowazu susumu kibou ni naru
Me no mae no kurayami ni tachisukumu tabi, Hikari wo kureru no sa
Moshi kimi ga hitori wo kanjiru toki wa
Daijoubu soba ni iru yo

And It’s the right time, Arukidasou
Yeah It’s the right time, Osorenaide
Hora, Ano oka wo koeta basho wo
Tomo ni Mi ni ikou

Katachi no nai kotae ni tomadou hi mo chiisana koe de
Sotto tsubuyaku no sa
Kimi to boku ni kikoeru koe de

And It’s the right time, Arukidasou
Yeah It’s the right time, Osorenaide
Hora, Ano oka wo koeta basho de
Bokura wo matteiru yo

Hora, Ano oka wo koeta basho e
Tomo ni doko made mo

as for the meaning of the song, credited to this-copy-unabled-site (since all i could translate is "hora" part):

Those words that you once told me
Are suddenly knocking at the door in my heart
Now your voice is making me remember
The scenery I'd forgotten
When I was being chased by something with no time to look back
It's fine, so let's begin.

And it's the right time, let's step forward
Yeah it's the right time, don't be afraid
Look, it's waiting for me
at the place where we crossed that hill

No matter what kind of painful times I'm in, those words
Advance across the wide sea without hesitation, turning into hope.
Everytime I'm petrified by the darkness before my eyes, they give me light
if there are times when you feel alone,
it's fine, I'm by your side.

And it's the right time, let's step forward
Yeah it's the right time, don't be afraid
Look, let's go together to see
The place where we crossed that hill

and in days when I'm perplexed by the answers that has no form
you softly whisper them in a quiet voice
in a voice that you and I can hear

And it's the right time, let's step forward
Yeah it's the right time, don't be afraid
Look, it's waiting for us
at the place where we crossed that hill

Look, we'll be together through thick and thin,
Towards the place where we crossed that hill.

*sob